no, this isn’t a joke, it isn’t even a test to see if you are paying attention….
It’s a fact.
The lil’ people in this house are attacking me…….not at this very moment, but consistently since they came into my world. I don’t know what I have done to initiate this assault. I can’t make it stop, I don’t have the skills that it takes to win this war, I am losing……it’s sad really…….not sure what to do at this point.
Here is an outline of the battles I will face when the sun rises:
Battle of the Breakfast (I will lose, despite putting in great efforts to fix a meal that would make a nutritionist smile….it will go in the trash)
Mom vs. The Pull-up (I will think that I have won this battle, only later to step in a pond in the middle of my living room)
Battle for control of naptime (This is a battle of battles…not for the faint of heart……generally speaking, this battle will last approximately 2 hours and neither participant goes down without a strong fight. Winner of this battle, will command glory.)
Mom vs. the Pull-up Part Deux (this battle is one that NEVER goes away, just when you think you have knocked it out…………it’s back, it’s ugly, and it doesn’t give up)
Battle at the Dinner Table (not for the weak of stomach, their is alot of ketchup and ranch dressing shed for the advancement of the lil’ people)
Mom vs The Bath (must have appropriate equipment, and be able to rinse and repeat in a blink of an eye)
Battle of the Bed (this is where things really get ugly…….screaming, running, repeated questioning, crying (some them, some me). Trust me, it’s bad…….REALLY BAD)
Overall, I think this gives you a general idea of what I am facing………Wish me luck………I’m gonna need it.